So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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