She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
