TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
