I love black thongs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
