Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
