my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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