If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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