is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize