I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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