This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I believe in your delicious
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
