dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
