Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
