You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
4 words: hood of his car
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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