it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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