this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize