I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
