Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We left an ass print on the piano.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
