im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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