Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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