he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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