did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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