Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
