Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
