she woke up with a sticky ear
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You are the jesus of drinking
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
