Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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