i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
