Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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