I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
