My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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