you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
