so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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