Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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