Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize