Yo dont text me then not text me
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize