I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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