I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
