How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
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