my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
