Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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