Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
tell me about the fingering
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