I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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