Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
