I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
