Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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