lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
