I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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