You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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