she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize