we have officially lost it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
