Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
