Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
