Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
