i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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