it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
