Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
