I'm laying in your front yard are you home
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
