I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
