And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
