why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize