"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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